There are many types of affairs. The most common one that I see is the “unmet needs” affair. The unmet needs affair happens when you feel as though there is something missing in your relationship with your partner.
When I sit and compare the way men and women react after discovering infidelity, the difference is clear. Men tend to react with anger. Women tend to react with self-blame.
“How could I have been so stupid?”
“Why did I believe him when he said he was busy with work all of those late nights?”
“How did I not see it coming?”
Your partner has shattered your world. The relationship that you once had is no longer, and maybe you’re still on the fence about staying in the relationship, but you certainly don’t know how to love them at the moment, and should you?
But why do people cheat? What gets in the way or comes up for a person that causes them to stray and look outside of their relationship?
I was so honored to have a conversation about all of these things with Dr. Lourdes Viado on her podcast, Women in Depth, and I wanted to share that discussion with you here:
There are so many things that you may feel you have lost through this trauma, and I want to assure you that they are normal.
The most common is the feeling that you don’t know who you are anymore.
While we can’t affair-proof our relationships, we can invest in them enough that an affair will be much less likely. Here are 5 things that commonly come between couples and have the ability to cause an affair:
Choosing a mantra and practicing positive affirmations is incredibly beneficial. We all have automatic thoughts that pop up in our minds, it’s like an inner-monologue and we tell ourselves things about ourselves all the time. If you listen, you might start to notice that the things you tell yourself may not be overly positive or even nice.
When you discover that your partner has had an affair, it’s common to press rewind on the last year of your life together and look for all the signs you should have seen and things you missed. The times they were out late and didn’t invite you, the times they were on the phone way too long with their work colleague and you gave them the benefit of the doubt, not wanting to rock the boat.
The “Revenge Body” is apparently a thing now that Khloe Kardashian has coined it and turned it into a new reality show. It’s quickly becoming a hot topic among those healing after heartbreak, but is it really that healthy?