The Ultimate Guide to Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP): How Ketamine Therapy Can Transform Healing

Healing is never a straight line. Sometimes, no matter how much therapy you’ve done or how many tools you’ve learned, you still feel stuck in old patterns of anxiety, depression, or emotional pain. You might intellectually understand what’s happening — but emotionally, it just doesn’t shift.

If you’ve found yourself here, it’s probably because you’ve tried so hard to feel better. You’ve been open to therapy, maybe medication, maybe even lifestyle changes — and yet something still feels out of reach.

That’s where Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) can make a profound difference.

I’m Alicia Taverner, LMFT, and for over a decade I’ve helped individuals and couples heal from deep emotional wounds — including infidelity, attachment trauma, and anxiety — through therapy and intensive work at my practice in Rancho Cucamonga, California. In the past few years, I’ve also become a certified provider of Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, and I’ve seen how it can unlock breakthroughs that once felt impossible.

This guide will walk you through what KAP is, how it works, what to expect, and why it can be such a powerful addition to your healing journey — whether individually or as part of a couples intensive.

What Is Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP)?

KAP is a therapeutic approach that combines the safe, guided use of ketamine with psychotherapy to promote emotional healing, insight, and change.

Unlike traditional medication or talk therapy alone, KAP creates a temporary shift in consciousness — quieting the inner critic and opening a space for deep reflection, compassion, and connection.

In a KAP session, you take a small, prescribed dose of ketamine (usually a lozenge that dissolves under your tongue) in a calm, comfortable environment. As your therapist, I’m there with you — helping you prepare, stay grounded, and later integrate what arises into your daily life.

Many clients describe it as “therapy on a deeper level,” where long-buried emotions can surface in a safe and supported way.

A Little Science: How Ketamine Works in the Brain

Ketamine works by temporarily quieting the Default Mode Network (DMN) — the part of the brain responsible for self-criticism, rumination, and looping thoughts.

When that constant mental noise softens, you can see yourself and your experiences differently. Old stories lose their grip. New perspectives emerge.

This isn’t just emotional — it’s biological. Ketamine increases levels of glutamate and BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor), both of which boost neuroplasticity — your brain’s ability to form new, healthier pathways.

Think of it like a fresh layer of snow: old tracks (your automatic thoughts) fade, and new ones can be made.

For 1–3 days after a session, your brain remains especially open to learning and change — which is why integration therapy is so essential.

How KAP Differs from Medical Ketamine Clinics

You may have heard of IV ketamine infusions or nasal sprays like Spravato®. These are medical treatments, typically provided in a doctor’s office without any psychotherapy component.

KAP, however, integrates medicine and meaning.

Here’s how they compare:

In KAP, the goal isn’t just symptom relief — it’s transformation. You’re not left alone to interpret your experience. You’re supported every step of the way.

Who Can Benefit from KAP?

KAP can be incredibly supportive for people navigating:

• Treatment-resistant depression or anxiety

• PTSD and complex trauma

• Attachment wounds from childhood or relationships

• Burnout or emotional exhaustion

• Grief, loss, or life transitions

• Feeling disconnected or “stuck” despite therapy

It’s also deeply meaningful for couples who are trying to reconnect after betrayal, infidelity, or years of disconnection.

In my couples intensives, KAP can help partners move past defensiveness and fear, opening space for genuine empathy and healing. When the protective walls soften, it’s often the first time couples truly see each other again.

Who Shouldn’t Use KAP

While KAP is safe for most people, it may not be appropriate for those who:

• Have uncontrolled high blood pressure or heart issues

• Are pregnant or breastfeeding

• Have a history of psychosis or bipolar mania

• Recently experienced a traumatic brain injury

During your consultation, I’ll review your medical history and collaborate with a licensed prescriber to make sure it’s a safe fit.

The Three Phases of KAP

Every KAP process unfolds in three intentional stages: preparation, dosing, and integration.

Preparation

Before any medicine is involved, we take time to build safety and clarity.
You’ll explore your intentions — what you hope to understand, release, or connect with.
We’ll talk through fears, set up your physical environment for comfort, and discuss how to support yourself emotionally before and after the experience.

This is also where we talk about “set and setting” — your mindset and environment. Both play a huge role in shaping the experience.

The Dosing Session

A dosing session usually lasts around three hours.
You’ll take your prescribed ketamine lozenge and rest comfortably with an eye mask and music that supports inward focus.

During this time, I’m there to hold therapeutic space — quietly ensuring safety, comfort, and presence. Some clients experience vivid imagery, emotional release, or deep peace. Others simply feel relaxed and reflective.

There’s no “right” way for a session to go. Whatever arises is welcomed with curiosity and compassion.

Integration

This is where the real magic happens.

In the days after your session, we meet again to process what came up — emotionally, spiritually, or relationally. Integration helps connect the insights from your journey to meaningful changes in your everyday life.

We might use tools like Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), or guided reflection to anchor those insights.

Without integration, the insights fade. With it, they become transformation.

Real Stories of Transformation

One client, a nurse in her 30s, came to KAP feeling exhausted and disconnected after years of people-pleasing and burnout. During her second session, she experienced a wave of compassion for her younger self — the little girl who had learned she had to be perfect to be loved.

Through integration, she began setting boundaries, taking rest seriously, and speaking to herself with gentleness instead of criticism.

Another couple came to me after infidelity had shaken their marriage. Despite months of therapy, they still couldn’t reconnect. Through KAP within their affair recovery intensive, each partner gained a deeper understanding of their pain — beyond blame. For the first time, they were able to speak to each other from empathy instead of defense.

That’s what KAP makes possible: healing at a deeper level that you feel in your brain, your body, and your nervous system.

The Research Behind Ketamine Therapy

Ketamine has been studied for over 50 years and is FDA-approved as an anesthetic. More recently, research has shown its remarkable effects on mood, trauma, and neuroplasticity.

Studies demonstrate that:

• Ketamine increases glutamate and BDNF, supporting brain growth and resilience.

• 6–8 sessions often lead to significant reductions in depression and anxiety symptoms.

• The effects can last for weeks to months — and when combined with psychotherapy, those benefits deepen and last even longer.

In other words, KAP isn’t just about temporary relief. It’s about rewiring your brain and emotions toward healing.

KAP as Part of Individual or Couples Intensives

At my practice in Rancho Cucamonga, California I offer both individual and couples intensives — immersive, extended sessions designed to create major breakthroughs in a shorter amount of time.

When combined with KAP, intensives allow us to go even deeper.

• For individuals, KAP can help bypass mental resistance and access insight that traditional therapy can take months to reach.

• For couples, it can quiet reactivity, allowing compassion and vulnerability to emerge.

Sometimes we begin an intensive with a KAP session to open the process, or integrate it midway to help digest emotional breakthroughs. The structure is always customized to your comfort level and goals.

Safety and Ethical Care

Client safety and ethical practice are at the heart of everything I do.

All KAP sessions are conducted in partnership with a licensed medical provider — typically through Journey Clinical, a trusted organization that specializes in medically supervised ketamine treatment for psychotherapy.

This means:

• The medication is prescribed safely by a licensed prescriber.

• Your vitals and health history are carefully reviewed.

• I provide the therapeutic preparation, dosing support, and integration work.

This collaborative model ensures your emotional and physical well-being are equally cared for.

What Clients Often Notice After KAP

Most clients describe:

• Feeling lighter, calmer, or more open

• Relief from anxious or depressive thought loops

• A deeper sense of self-compassion

• Improved sleep and emotional regulation

• More meaningful connection to themselves and others

For couples, there’s often a renewed sense of hope — a reminder that healing is possible even after deep pain.

Is Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy Right for You?

If you’ve been feeling stuck — in therapy, in your relationship, or within yourself — KAP may offer the shift you’ve been longing for.

It’s not about escaping your pain, but transforming your relationship with it. With the right guidance, intention, and integration, KAP can help you reconnect to the parts of you that already know how to heal.

You don’t have to keep struggling alone.

Whether you’re an individual searching for peace or a couple wanting to rebuild trust and intimacy, I’d love to help you explore what’s possible through Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy in Rancho Cucamonga, California.

Ready to Begin?

If you’re curious about whether KAP might be right for you, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
We’ll talk about your goals, answer your questions, and create a plan that supports your next steps — whether that’s individual therapy, a couples intensive, or integrating KAP into your healing journey.

👉 Schedule Your Free Consultation Here

How to Find the Right Therapist for Affair Recovery Intensives in California

Choosing the right therapist is one of the most important steps in the affair recovery process. Once you decide that you’re ready to work through something so personal and difficult, you want to be sure you select the right person to help you. Without the right support, you may find yourself floundering through the experience and struggling with more questions than answers.

Having to switch therapists multiple times is an additional challenge you don’t need when you’re already dealing with so much. Hiring the right person from the start will save you time, energy, and emotional strain. Here are some things to look for when researching the right therapist for an affair recovery intensive in California:

Qualifications to Look For

The first thing you’ll want to do is check the therapist’s licensure status. Working with a licensed professional means you’ll be in the hands of someone with significant training and experience—licensed therapists are required to complete 3,000 or more clinical hours before taking multiple exams to earn their license.

A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC), or Clinical Psychologist are all good options.

In addition to licensure, look for specializations in infidelity recovery and trauma recovery. You can typically find these details on their website. Many therapists also offer other ways to get a sense of their work—such as blog posts, podcast interviews, or videos—that give you a feel for their voice and expertise.

Experience That Matters

Specific training in therapy modalities should also be listed on their website and ideally include one or more of the following: Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), The Gottman Method, Brainspotting, or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).

Your therapist should have hands-on experience guiding couples through the infidelity recovery process, and this should be clear in their website copy, free resources, or other professional presence.

The Importance of Fit

Once you’ve narrowed down your list to one or more therapists who meet the criteria, schedule a phone consultation to get a feel for their style and approach. Use this time to ask questions about their process, areas of expertise, experience, scheduling, and what you can expect during your intensive.

This initial conversation should leave you feeling assured, supported, and comfortable—like you could spend a few days sitting across from them while they guide you through one of the most vulnerable experiences of your life.

Final Thoughts

Finding the right therapist isn’t just about credentials—it’s about finding someone you trust with your most vulnerable moments. A skilled affair recovery specialist can help you navigate painful emotions, rebuild trust, and move toward the future you want together.

If you’re ready to take the next step, start by reading The Ultimate Guide to Affair Recovery Intensives. Or, book a consultation today to explore whether an intensive might be the right fit for you and your partner.

Can a Relationship Survive Infidelity? What Couples Need to Know About Recovery

There are so many questions that surface in the aftermath of discovering an affair. Whether you’re the one who was betrayed or the one who strayed, it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and fearful about what the future holds.

If you’re wrestling with the decision to stay or go, you’re probably wondering how relationships could possibly survive something this painful. But here’s the truth: many couples do make it through—and some even go on to say it became a catalyst for creating an even deeper, more meaningful bond.

I know that might sound impossible right now, but stay with me. After more than a decade of helping couples navigate some of the most painful betrayals, I’ve seen firsthand how healing and rebuilding trust is possible.

The Impact of Betrayal on Both Partners

An affair is deeply painful for both partners.

If you’re the one who betrayed your partner, you’re probably carrying a heavy mix of guilt and shame for the hurt you’ve caused. While those emotions are completely normal, shame can be especially difficult to navigate—it convinces you that you’re a terrible person and pushes you to shut down or hide. The problem is, pulling away often makes things worse. To your betrayed partner, that distance can look like indifference or a lack of commitment to repairing the relationship, even when that’s the opposite of what you truly feel.

If you’re the one who has been betrayed, you likely have countless questions about how and why this happened. You may find yourself falling into unhealthy patterns of self-blame or anger—especially if you ignored your intuition when something felt “off.” You might feel buried under an avalanche of emotion and unable to see a path forward. But there is a path forward, and with the right support, you can move through these emotions and come out stronger on the other side.

Key Factors That Influence Whether a Relationship Survives Infidelity

Several factors influence a couple’s ability to recover from infidelity.

The first is commitment. If both partners are willing to show up for themselves and for each other—to do the hard work of understanding their contributions and patterns—healing and repair are absolutely possible.

Another key factor is transparency and accountability. If you can take an honest look at your behaviors and stay committed to developing a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner, surviving an affair is within reach.

While some couples attempt this on their own, working with a highly trained couples therapist in Rancho Cucamonga can save valuable time and energy. A skilled therapist can help you have the right conversations—ones that promote understanding, meaning, and long-term healing.

How Couples Therapy Helps After Infidelity

Finding a therapist who’s a good fit for both of you is crucial. They should be trained specifically in couples therapy and infidelity recovery, and create a safe, supportive space for processing painful emotions like anger, grief, and shame.

In my work with affair recovery intensives in Rancho Cucamonga, I use brain-based techniques such as Brainspotting and Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help clients understand and heal the parts of themselves that hold onto difficult emotions. I guide couples from being “in their heads” to processing emotions in the body—safely and without causing additional harm.

Clients often carry judgment about their emotional responses, saying things like, “I shouldn’t be angry about this anymore,” or “I don’t want to be an angry person.” But judgment keeps emotions stuck. By learning to experience emotions—like anger or sadness—directly in the body without labeling them as “good” or “bad,” clients discover that these feelings naturally rise and fall. That’s where real healing begins.

When Affair Recovery Isn’t the Goal

There are times when affair recovery isn’t the goal—and that truth often becomes clear during the therapy process.

Separation or divorce may be the healthiest option when:

• One partner is unwilling to be transparent or take responsibility for their actions

• One or both partners become volatile or abusive

• There are ongoing patterns of manipulation or control

When staying together isn’t possible, an individual intensive can be incredibly beneficial. It can help you process the end of the relationship, heal emotionally, and gain clarity about the deeper patterns that led you here—so you don’t repeat them in future relationships.

Stories of Renewal and Hope

Over the years, I’ve worked with many couples who’ve made it through the affair recovery process. Those who stay committed to the work—taking responsibility, staying curious about their patterns, and healing the parts of themselves that contributed to the affair—often emerge saying that while it was the hardest experience of their lives, it ultimately strengthened their relationship.

They describe a renewed sense of connection, trust, and commitment—and feel equipped with the tools to keep growing together.

The Bottom Line: Healing After Infidelity Is Possible

It’s normal to wonder if your marriage can survive after betrayal. The truth? Many couples not only survive but go on to create a stronger, more connected partnership than ever before. Others choose separate paths, but with healing and clarity instead of unresolved pain.

👉 Want to know what recovery looks like step by step?
Check out The Ultimate Guide to Affair Recovery Intensives and learn how couples therapy intensives in Rancho Cucamonga, CA can create space for honest conversations and lasting change.

The Phases of Healing After Infidelity: How Intensive Couples Therapy Supports Recovery

When you discover that your partner has had an affair, it can feel like your world is ending. The relationship you thought you had suddenly feels like a lie. Arriving at a decision to continue the relationship—and committing to the hard work of recovery—can be tumultuous. You never expected this to happen, and the road ahead may feel scary and unclear.

Understanding the typical phases of affair recovery can help you prepare for the journey ahead and know that healing is possible.

Phase 1: Atonement

The first phase of the affair recovery process, based on the research of Drs. John and Julie Gottman, is the Atonement Phase. This is where you begin working toward complete transparency and honesty.

If you’ve been betrayed, you’ll need to understand what happened and the nature of the affair to the degree you’re comfortable with. Some people want every detail; others prefer a brief summary. It’s a deeply personal decision—and one that can change over time.

If you’re the partner who strayed, this phase requires deep soul-searching. Many people try to protect their partner by disclosing only small pieces of the truth, hoping to reduce their pain. While that may seem compassionate, it often causes more harm. When more details emerge later, trust erodes even further.

Atonement is more than just apologizing—it’s about full transparency, accountability, and empathy. This is what creates enough emotional safety for your partner to consider moving forward.

The Atonement Phase is often filled with difficult, uncomfortable conversations and emotional ups and downs. One moment you might feel hopeful about the future; the next, your partner may be overwhelmed with grief and uncertainty. It’s painful, but it’s also a normal part of the healing process—and it doesn’t last forever.

Phase 2: Attunement

The Attunement Phase focuses on reestablishing safety and rebuilding emotional intimacy. This happens as you begin to understand the patterns you’ve both been unconsciously engaging in—patterns that likely existed long before the affair and created emotional distance in the relationship.

After trust has been broken, safety and reassurance come through consistent, open communication. This includes talking about what you need in order to feel secure. While asking for passwords or frequent check-ins might provide temporary relief, genuine trust is rebuilt through your partner’s willingness to be open, transparent, and emotionally available.

A key part of this phase is exploring those deeper, unconscious relationship patterns. As you do this work, you begin to understand why the affair happened. Many betrayed partners initially resist exploring their own role, preferring to place all the blame on their partner. That’s understandable—but as you begin to recognize how your own attachment wounds or coping patterns contributed to the disconnection, the path toward healing becomes clearer.

When you can sit with your partner as they uncover their attachment wounds—and learn to hold space with empathy and understanding—you begin to rebuild the emotional intimacy that’s likely been missing for a long time. This emotional closeness lays the foundation for the next phase of recovery.

Phase 3: Attachment

The final stage of the affair recovery process is the Attachment Phase, where couples develop a renewed sense of commitment to each other and the relationship.

By this point, you’ve worked through the pain of the first two phases and created a deeper emotional connection. You’ve gained insight into why the affair happened and learned ways to maintain this level of closeness moving forward. This leads to long-term security—something that may have been weakened or missing before the betrayal.

The conversations that take place throughout these phases are often lengthy, emotional, and sometimes explosive. Many couples struggle to make consistent progress due to time constraints or emotional fatigue. That’s where affair recovery intensives can be especially valuable.

An intensive offers the time, structure, and professional guidance needed to move through each phase more effectively. Couples can make deeper progress in a few focused days than in months of traditional weekly sessions—learning skills and insights that truly support long-term recovery.

Recovering from infidelity isn’t about rushing through the pain or pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about honoring each phase—Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment—so you can move forward with clarity, connection, and hope. 🌱

While the journey can feel overwhelming, having the right structure and support can make all the difference.

👉 Ready to take a deeper dive?
Read The Ultimate Guide to Affair Recovery Intensives to see how focused, compassionate therapy can help you rebuild trust and connection after betrayal.

Affair Recovery Intensives vs. Traditional Couples Therapy: Which Is Right for You?

If you’re trying to repair your relationship after an affair, I first want to send you my heartfelt support. This is one of the most painful and disorienting experiences a couple can face. No matter which side of the affair you’re on, you’ll experience intense emotions—and all of those emotions need time and space to be processed. Stuffing them down or pretending like it didn’t happen is a sure way to create even bigger relationship problems down the road.

Deciding to work on yourself and your relationship requires focused time and effort. For many couples, a single 50-minute session per week just doesn’t cut it. There’s simply too much to talk about and work through. Often, couples leave traditional therapy sessions with more questions than answers, unsure of what to focus on between appointments.

How Traditional Couples Therapy Works

In traditional couples therapy, you typically meet with a therapist weekly for a 50-minute session.

• The intake phase: The first session usually focuses on your relationship history and current challenges. After that, many therapists schedule individual intake sessions with each partner to better understand personal histories, past traumas, and family backgrounds. Sometimes additional individual sessions are needed to explore the affair itself, the discovery, and provide space for separate processing.

By this point, you may already have 4–5 sessions under your belt before real couples work begins. Depending on scheduling, that intake process alone can take 3–5 weeks—weeks when you’re left without strong guidance on navigating the difficult conversations you’re inevitably having at home.

While these sessions are important for understanding unconscious patterns and behaviors, the slow pace can feel frustrating when emotions are raw and urgent.

• The structure of weekly sessions: Once the intake phase is complete, weekly 50-minute sessions begin. Typically, those sessions break down like this:

• 5–10 minutes: check-in on the past week

• 10–15 minutes: introduce a focus or issue for the session

• 15 minutes: therapeutic intervention

• 5 minutes: regulation and wrap-up

While this format is useful, real life doesn’t always fit neatly into 50 minutes. Sometimes emotionally charged conversations take the entire session, leaving little room for deeper intervention. Other times, breakthroughs are cut short because time runs out. As a therapist, one of the hardest moments is seeing clients leave in tears—not because they didn’t make progress, but because the clock ran out before resolution.

How Affair Recovery Intensives Work

Affair recovery intensives restructure therapy entirely. Instead of being bound by insurance-driven time limits, intensives allow for longer, uninterrupted sessions and faster progress.

• The prework phase: We complete a 60-minute couples session followed by 90-minute individual sessions with each partner, all within about 2 weeks. This means that when couples arrive for their affair recovery intensive, we’re ready to dive in immediately.

• The intensive itself: Sessions are booked in 4-hour blocks over 3–4 consecutive days. This allows space for deeper conversations, more complete interventions, and genuine breakthroughs. Because sessions are back-to-back, there’s no need to “catch up” on a week’s worth of events—you stay immersed in the process, creating momentum for healing and repair.

This focused environment often provides the first real relief couples have felt since the affair was discovered.

Key Differences Between the Two Approaches

Traditional couples therapy gives you time to process between sessions and works well if you’re already emotionally regulated and able to engage productively week by week.

• Affair recovery intensives offer extended time for emotional depth, repair, and healing without the pressure of the clock. Many couples begin with an intensive, then transition to weekly therapy for ongoing support. Some return for another intensive when they need to go deeper on specific issues.

My clients consistently share that the immersive nature of intensives allows them to leave feeling more grounded, connected, and supported.

Which Option Is Best for Affair Recovery?
The right approach depends on your needs, history, and emotional regulation skills:

• Affair Recovery Intensives are often best if:

• You’ve never been to therapy before.

• Fights frequently end in blow-ups or silent treatment.

• You need time to practice emotional regulation while still having important conversations with your partner.

• Traditional Couples Therapy may be right for you if:

• You’ve already been in therapy and have tools for self-regulation.

• You and your partner can handle difficult conversations without escalating.

• You’re able to consistently attend weekly sessions.

Both approaches have value, but when the wounds of infidelity run deep, many couples need more time and space to process, reconnect, and heal. Intensive couples therapy provides that focused environment where real breakthroughs can happen.

👉 Curious if an intensive is the right fit for your relationship? Explore The Ultimate Guide to Affair Recovery Intensives to learn how this approach accelerates healing after betrayal.

📞 Schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation today and let’s talk about the right next step for you and your partner.