5 Things to consider before moving in Together
Even the consideration of creating a home with your honey can give you butterflies.
But if you're not ready for such a big step, it can be grounds for disaster.
Here are 5 things to consider before you sign on the dotted line:
1. What is the status of our relationship?
In answering this, you want to consider the amount of conflict that is occurring in your relationship, your relationship history, and commitment towards the future.
Healthy relationships should follow the 5:1 ratio - meaning for every negative interaction, there should be 5 positive interactions to counter the negative. Relationships that are not solid have the potential to fizzle, and leases and mortgages are often difficult to break.
2. Are we compatible room mates?
Domestic bliss can be difficult to attain, even for the most seasoned couples. Understanding what role each of you will play in the household is important, and definitely a conversation that should take place before you get the keys to you're new place.
Knowing who will be responsible for which chores in addition to having an understanding about expectations for personal space, bathroom habits, pets, and visitors are all important things to consider.
Are you an early bird? Is your partner a night owl? Do you love having dinner parties weekly? Does your partner see their dwelling as a quiet place to recharge? When you're opposites, and can't find a balance, things can go downhill fast.
3. Are we on the same page financially?
Finances can cause major rifts between partners. Sitting down and having a plan regarding who will pay for what, how often, will cut down on any surprises.
Contingency plans for job loss, unexpected illness and other life-changing events should also be discussed.
Will you be combining incomes? Keeping things separate? Splitting the rent 50/50? There is no right answer, but a clear expectation will set you up for less arguments down the line.
4. Do we have a long term plan?
Understanding what future plans each of you has and making sure you are on the same page will greatly benefit your relationship and make for a happy home.
Are you planning to get married? Buy a house? Have children? Will one of you be taking a job out of state in the future? Having clear goals as a couple is important.
5. Am I emotionally ready for this commitment?
Moving in with your partner might seem like the most awesome experience, no more weekends over, and devoting your items to a single drawer! But moving in together is a huge step, and when conflicts arise there is often less space between you to offer a retreat.
Consider what might happen if you were to split up, and make sure you have a financial plan for such. Taking an account of the relationship, and how you truly feel about the person you are thinking about moving in with.
What does your gut tell you about your future with this person? You may find that living together is as awesome as you had thought, but a little planning and forethought goes a long way!