How to love your wife the way you love your sports team, and the benefits you'll reap

There's nothing like the sound of whistles blowing, quarterbacks hut-hut-hiking, and helmet hitting helmet. Football season in the U.S. is upon us. 

What also accompanies these sounds are the sounds of screaming, yelling of obscenities, pacing, celebratory dancing, and the occasional throwing of the tv remote - and I know that's not just a Monday night in my house! 

And while I'd like to throw out a few clinical diagnoses to justify my annoyance with my husband's overly enthusiastic choice of words, I refrain and remind myself it will only last until February.... Only. Six. More. Months... 

I know there are some ladies out there who are just as passionate about their sports teams, and who can spiritedly object to a bad call with the best of them, so this can apply to you as well:

What if you loved your partner with as much passion as you love your sports team? I want to give you a few tips on how to make that happen. 

Make date night plans the way you make game-day plans.

When there’s an important game coming up you make sure your schedule is clear, call your buddies and discuss the line-up, where you’ll be watching, and whose turn it is to bring the beer.

Date night should look similar. Talk to your partner, make sure you’re on the same page, schedules are clear, and take the initiative to plan with enthusiasm. Make a dinner reservation and arrange for childcare if necessary.

Approach your date night the way you approach game time. 

When it's game time, nothing stands in your way of making it home in time for kick-off. You make sure to have your choice beverage and snack in hand before that ball is kicked.  

Maybe in an emergency situation you aren't able to make it home on time, but you're listening to AM radio all the way home, and catching up on what you missed on Sports Center after the game. 

Date night should look similar.  Treat it as though it’s something that absolutely can’t be missed, something you treasure, and something you look forward to all week.

On the rare occasion that you're running late because you get stuck at work, call and talk to your sweet heart all the way to the restaurant, because that conversation is just too precious to miss out on. 

Belong to your relationship the way you belong to your sports team.

When your team is struggling, and the refs are making all the wrong calls, you enthusiastically jump in and stick up for your team, because after all, WE have worked hard all season, and WE aren’t putting up with this!  

When your partner is struggling to keep up with the demands of work, home, family, and everything else life is throwing at the moment, it’s time to step it up, and jump in the way you do for your team.

There doesn’t have to be as many 4-letter words involved, but volunteering with gusto to walk the dog or make the call back to your kid’s teacher will go a long way.

Have you heard the saying, “foreplay starts outside of the bedroom?” Trust me on this one, guys!

Translate that passion into your relationship language.

Even when it’s not game day, you're checking stats, catching up on the status of injured players, and watching highlights from games you missed.  

You talk football at the water cooler and proudly clothe yourself in your team’s colors at the weekend BBQ.

Now I’m not asking you to wear an “I love my wife” t-shirt with her picture on it to the next company picnic, but checking in on your wife’s stats the way you would your team’s will score you some major bonus points.  

Asking about how she’s feeling about her annoying coworker, or the latest episode of Scandal just shows that you care about her world, and she’s a priority in your life. And while you may not love shows with strong female leads, it really isn’t about the show, it’s about showing up and showing you appreciate her inner thoughts.

Translating that passion you show for your team into the words you use with your partner can be totally flattering and surprising if it isn’t something she’s used to.

“I freakin love you!” is a little different than the usual “love ya babe,” so at the risk of being vulnerable, just go for it, because she knows you have more than a passionate bone in your body – she’s witness to your Monday, Thursday, and/or Sunday salutes to your team, so get creative and let the passion show!

Who are you rooting for this season? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below, and want to know what you’re gonna do this season to show up in your relationship.

5 Things to consider before moving in Together

Even the consideration of creating a home with your honey can give you butterflies.

But if you're not ready for such a big step, it can be grounds for disaster. 

Here are 5 things to consider before you sign on the dotted line: 

1. What is the status of our relationship? 

In answering this, you want to consider the amount of conflict that is occurring in your relationship, your relationship history, and commitment towards the future.

Healthy relationships should follow the 5:1 ratio - meaning for every negative interaction, there should be 5 positive interactions to counter the negative. Relationships that are not solid have the potential to fizzle, and leases and mortgages are often difficult to break. 

2. Are we compatible room mates? 

Domestic bliss can be difficult to attain, even for the most seasoned couples. Understanding what role each of you will play in the household is important, and definitely a conversation that should take place before you get the keys to you're new place.

Knowing who will be responsible for which chores in addition to having an understanding about expectations for personal space, bathroom habits, pets, and visitors are all important things to consider.

Are you an early bird? Is your partner a night owl? Do you love having dinner parties weekly? Does your partner see their dwelling as a quiet place to recharge? When you're opposites, and can't find a balance, things can go downhill fast. 

3. Are we on the same page financially? 

Finances can cause major rifts between partners.  Sitting down and having a plan regarding who will pay for what, how often, will cut down on any surprises.

Contingency plans for job loss, unexpected illness and other life-changing events should also be discussed.

Will you be combining incomes? Keeping things separate? Splitting the rent 50/50? There is no right answer, but a clear expectation will set you up for less arguments down the line. 

4. Do we have a long term plan? 

Understanding what future plans each of you has and making sure you are on the same page will greatly benefit your relationship and make for a happy home.

Are you planning to get married? Buy a house? Have children? Will one of you be taking a job out of state in the future? Having clear goals as a couple is important. 

5. Am I emotionally ready for this commitment? 

Moving in with your partner might seem like the most awesome experience, no more weekends over, and devoting your items to a single drawer! But moving in together is a huge step, and when conflicts arise there is often less space between you to offer a retreat.

Consider what might happen if you were to split up, and make sure you have a financial plan for such. Taking an account of the relationship, and how you truly feel about the person you are thinking about moving in with.

What does your gut tell you about your future with this person? You may find that living together is as awesome as you had thought, but a little planning and forethought goes a long way!