Alicia Taverner 4/7/22 Alicia Taverner 4/7/22

Resolving Resentment in Relationships

Resentment in relationships happens when events take place and a partner’s needs aren’t met in some way. You may try to communicate how something made you feel, but it may not have been conveyed in a way they could hear, or it may not have been expressed at all.

Alicia Taverner 3/30/22 Alicia Taverner 3/30/22

Bids for Connection: How to make and reciprocate them

Reciprocating your partner’s bids for connection is extremely important because when a person feels like their partner isn’t reciprocating their bids they tend to make meaning of this, and they begin to tell themselves things like, “I guess what I have to say isn’t interesting to my partner,” or, “I am not interesting to my partner.”

Alicia Taverner 3/16/22 Alicia Taverner 3/16/22

How Trauma Impacts Marriage

“If it’s hysterical, then it’s historical.” Have you ever heard this saying? When there is an unresolved trauma that comes from childhood, it can rear its ugly head right in the middle of an argument with a partner and cause havoc. That response that’s so big, and seemingly unnecessary, can then touch on your partner’s unresolved trauma causing a tidal wave of emotions to come spewing back. This is typically the reason couples have such difficulty hearing one another and reaching resolutions.

Alicia Taverner 3/9/22 Alicia Taverner 3/9/22

Mind-Reading in Marriage (part 2)

The truth is, we don’t know exactly how our partner will respond to something.

Yes, you may have had a similar situation or pattern and you know things about what your partner may like and dislike, but when you assume that your partner will respond in a certain way and as a result of this pattern of mind-reading, you tend to either alter your communication or you avoid the conversation altogether.